Men Are Not Always Wrong: The Silent Cost of Misused Safeguards

grayscale photo of man looking at window: While women’s protection laws are essential, their misuse can destroy innocent lives. This opinion explores the urgent need for fairness, balance, and gender-neutral justice.

Both men and women have an equal set of responsibilities and duties in nurturing society, and therefore, they complement each other. One could say that men and women are like two wheels — both required for the smooth functioning of society. But generally, it is believed that women belong to a weaker section requiring protection against wrongs committed against them. Women-centric laws have been framed with the primary motive of granting protection and security to all women.

When Women-Centric Laws Are Misused: A Call for Balance

This legal approach is certainly justified given the present scenario. However, as with all things, excess can become a problem requiring serious attention. The issue lies in the fact that nowadays, these women-centric laws are being used as unchecked, unregulated weapons in the hands of some women to harm men or to exact revenge. These laws are now diverging from their original intent. Rather than being used for protection, they are sometimes misused to target genuine, innocent men. In such cases, the purpose of the law is defeated, granting unfair advantage instead of justice.

My cousin came from Kerala to Mumbai to appear for a competitive exam — one that he regularly took, hoping it would open new avenues and uplift his family’s life. One day, he boarded a bus to his exam centre in Powai. The crowd was heavier than usual, with some passengers standing. He found a seat and opened his books to revise. A little while later, someone tapped his shoulder and began shouting. A lady standing next to him accused him of touching her inappropriately. The poor guy was stunned — he had been completely engrossed in his studies.

The lady claimed his elbow was touching her leg and that he was doing it deliberately. He protested, saying he didn’t even realize she was standing so close, let alone touch her intentionally. But that was it. The woman began crying and shouting, claiming she was being threatened. The crowd turned against him. No one asked for his version. They collectively abused him, thrashed him, and threw him off the bus.

He missed his exam. He had to be treated for injuries. He was humiliated and traumatised beyond words. His family was shaken. Even if he had filed a police complaint, what would he say? That he was innocent and she was lying? He had no details about the bus, no information on the people who attacked him. And would anyone believe him? He was shaken not just by the incident, but by the apathy of the people who witnessed it. Those who saw everything unfold still sided with the woman — without question. If even they wouldn’t believe him, how could he expect the police to?

Fearing further victimisation, he chose to remain silent.

A close friend was falsely accused of sexual harassment after he ignored the advances of a female colleague. He had asked her to stop her inappropriate behaviour — uninvited stares, comments — but she didn’t. Instead, she filed a false complaint with HR. My friend was fired. His reputation was destroyed. For five years, no company would hire him. He and his family — including his wife and children — suffered greatly.

Once a man is accused, everyone, sometimes even his own family, assumes he is guilty.

A woman filed a false domestic violence case against her husband. She even accused his parents of feeding her poisoned food. It was all part of her plan to force her husband into agreeing to a divorce. She succeeded in getting the divorce — but destroyed the reputation of her husband and his family in the process.

Some women falsely accuse men of rape, using their "victimhood" as a weapon. Often, the situation involved consensual sex between two adults, with or without a promise of marriage. Such cases should not be labelled as rape. Yet, when the woman later claims it as rape — whether out of spite, for attention, revenge, or financial gain — the consequences are devastating. These false allegations ruin lives. They blur the lines between real victims and those manipulating the system.

Men are seen as the stronger sex, while women are stereotyped as weak. So, the idea of a man being beaten by his wife seems unimaginable. But it happens — and often. Cases of wife-on-husband violence are underreported and under-recognised. Male victims, unlike female victims, often choose silence. They fear mockery, shame, and the loss of their identity as "real men." This mindset makes it hard for men to speak out or approach authorities, who often lack empathy and dismiss their concerns.

This silence is reinforced by the fear that their complaints will be disbelieved or even turned against them. It reveals an official mindset that views women-on-men domestic violence as insignificant. In one case, a girl who was engaged to a boy accused him of misconduct. It was an arranged match approved by both families — but not the girl. Her father filed a complaint against the boy and his family. The wedding was cancelled.

Two weeks later, the girl married her boyfriend — someone her family had earlier rejected due to religious differences. As for the accused boy? His life came to a standstill. His reputation and his family’s name were ruined. How unfair is it that society plays judge and jury by hearing only one side? How easily people jump to accuse a man without pausing to examine the full situation? How can a woman cry "harassment" and instantly receive support, while the man stands alone, fighting false allegations?

There is a complete lack of impartial hearing. These women-centric laws, when misapplied, leave men without protection or recourse. Yes — even today, many women genuinely suffer abuse and need protection. But it’s equally important to acknowledge that some women misuse these laws to harass innocent men. It is time to shift our perception.

Men too face abuse. Men too are harassed. And men too deserve protection. We need gender-neutral laws that support justice for both men and women. There should be penalties for women who misuse protective laws. Or perhaps a new legal framework that addresses abuse against men as seriously as that against women.

Men are not always wrong.
Hear the male voice.

Vulnerability Of Men

In our society, the pressure on men to always be strong and unemotional can cause severe mental health issues. Let's encourage open dialogue and support for all who are struggling.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, I would like to address a topic that is frequently overlooked and disregarded in our society.

In a world where men are expected to embody strength, stoicism, and emotional detachment, it can be extremely difficult for them to express their true emotions and seek assistance when necessary. 

Vulnerability Of Men

In our society, the pressure on men to always be strong and unemotional can cause severe mental health issues. Let's encourage open dialogue and support for all who are struggling.
In our society, the pressure on men to always be strong and unemotional can cause severe mental health issues. Let's encourage open dialogue and support for all who are struggling. | Image:Canva.com

Take a moment to reflect on this. How often have you heard phrases like "Man up" or "Be a man" when a man opens up about his feelings? This societal expectation that men should always be resilient and unemotional can have detrimental effects on their mental well-being. It fosters a culture where men feel ashamed or feeble for displaying vulnerability, causing them to suppress their emotions and suffer silently. 

However, the reality is that men experience emotions just like anyone else. They feel sadness, fear, and pain just as intensely as anyone else. Yet, they are frequently discouraged from openly expressing these emotions. This can lead to a range of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, and even suicide. 

Allow me to share a personal anecdote that exemplifies the impact of these societal expectations on men. A few years ago, a dear friend of mine was going through a challenging period. He had recently lost his job and was struggling to find a new one. He felt like a failure and was overwhelmed with feelings of shame and inadequacy. However, whenever he attempted to discuss his emotions, he was met with dismissive remarks such as "Just toughen up" or "Quit being so sensitive." 

Consequently, he felt compelled to bottle up his emotions, which only exacerbated his mental health issues. It was not until he reached a breaking point and attempted suicide that he finally received the help and support he needed. This served as a wake-up call for me and a stark reminder of the dangers of toxic masculinity and the stigma surrounding men's emotions.

Nevertheless, it is not solely societal expectations that contribute to the vulnerability of men. Men are also victims of sexual harassment and assault, yet their experiences are frequently disregarded or belittled. The #MeToo movement has shed light on the experiences of women who have faced harassment and abuse, but it is important to remember that men can also be victims. 

Their experiences should be treated with the same seriousness and respect. Whether it is unwelcome advances in the workplace or being coerced into sexual acts against their will, no one should have to endure such treatment. Unfortunately, many men feel ashamed or embarrassed to come forward due to the stigma surrounding male victimhood. 

It is crucial for us to dismantle the barriers that prevent men from expressing their emotions and seeking help when needed. We must foster a culture where men feel safe and supported in sharing their feelings, without the fear of being judged or ridiculed. Additionally, we must acknowledge that men can be vulnerable too, and that it is perfectly acceptable. 

To initiate change, we must challenge the outdated stereotypes and expectations that dictate men should always be tough and unemotional. We should promote open and honest conversations about mental health, and provide resources and support for those who are struggling. Furthermore, we must stand against all forms of harassment and abuse, regardless of the gender of the victim. 

In conclusion, addressing the vulnerability of men is a significant issue that requires our attention and action. By dismantling the barriers that hinder men from expressing their emotions and seeking help, we can create a more compassionate and inclusive society for everyone.

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