We frequently pass people coworkers, students, elderly people, and strangers who carry whole worlds of silence inside of them. This report is a meagre effort to stop and pay attention. These are heartlines, not headlines; they are genuine accounts from people in my community that have been shared with vulnerability, bravery, and trust. It is divided into 4 sections. Every section provides a fresh perspective on the lives of some of the everyday people in our community. We witness the wide range of lives people lead, yet they manage to smile beautifully and grow as individuals every day.
Echoes of Childhood
I miss my grandpa everyday
6-year-old boy, no sibling, both the parents are working
"Dadu, Mummy, and Papa used to live with me, but they leave for work before I do. Dadu remained. He waved from the balcony every morning and reminded me to bring my bottle and lunch. His scent was always so clean. He told me various made-up stories and stories about his time when he was my size. Dadu stopped waking up last week. "Get up, I want Maggi!" I shook him, but he didn't. I hid behind the sofa because I was afraid when Mummy screamed. I didn't see him say goodbye or pack. The following day, the balcony felt devoid. My tiffin was missed. "Dadu, please return." More than Maggi, I miss you. He didn’t answer. I think now he’s so far that he can’t listen my words otherwise he would’ve come to me immediately.”
Reflection: The child’s grief of losing his grandpa is more than even his parents could imagine. The child is silent living the days but somewhere in his heart he is always near to his grandpa who’s no longer in reality. He deeply misses him and even he didn’t want the Maggi that he has always wanted.
When I saw mother loving her child
10-year-old boy, no mother, has a younger brother and father is a -businessman.
“Today, I witnessed a boy leap into his mother's embrace. She gave him a firm hug and a forehead kiss. I can't recall how that feels. "Did Mumma sing bedtime songs?" my younger brother asked me once more. Despite my ignorance, I replied in the affirmative. I whispered, "I'll be your Mumma today," as I tucked him in and combed his hair back that evening.”
Reflection: A young boy who has never seen his mother is longing for how it feels to be loved by a mother. Helpless he’s just trying to give the love to his younger brother. Although it can’t be the same but he’s still trying.
When I had a complete meal
8-year-old boy, no parents, has a younger sister and a younger brother and sole earning member.
“I usually eat the bread's edges. In order to give my younger sister my share, I occasionally pretend I'm not hungry. My brother is too young to comprehend. When he is hungry, he simply cries. I therefore give him more. Near the signal, I sell flowers. We receive one packet of biscuits and milk on a good day. A woman in a black car purchased all of my flowers yesterday. She didn't haggle. She then handed me a box. It contained two chapatis, rice, sabzi, and a dessert. I gazed at it. I didn't have to decide between eating and sharing. I didn't have to pretend to be full. I ate slowly. My sister licked the spoon, and I let her. My brother grinned with his mouth full. We all had warm stomachs when we went to bed that night. It seemed to be an embrace I was unaware I had missed.”
Reflection: When responsibilities strike someone at a young age, the same condition can be experienced. An 8-year-old is a sole earning member for his younger siblings, definitely he is aware of the world and how it works too soon, when he was at an age of enjoying comfort.
Working and Loosing
I lost more than I’ve ever earned
43-year-old man, no father, has an elder sister, younger sister and a younger brother died, Sole earning member.
“What have I ever earned? Money is that even true? Because all my earnings are a waste now. People say money comes with all the happiness but in my case it isn’t true. It came with a lot of bad luck and sufferings. I spent a major timeline of my life in curing my father. I went everywhere people advised for his kidney treatment. In the hope of getting him well I did everything. But what did I get? He was lying dead just in front of me. But I gave a peace to my heart that everyone has to go. He was battling a lot with himself, he’s in peace now. Years passed and after 5 years my younger brother without any sign or movement passed away. His sudden death has made me a person who has experienced so much grief that he doesn’t care now even if the worse happens. Bhai, I miss dad, as he often used to say. Now every day I whisper to myself ‘Bhai, I miss you and dad” Seeing my mother and 2 sisters in pain make my heart so heavy and I really can’t battle with my life now.”
Reflection: When grief attaches a person, it’ll only leave once a person removes all the threads of attachment as regarded by Gautam Buddha. In a well to do family, when the wave of sadness flows, all the burden is held by the sole responsible member. In this case he has lost more than he’s even earned and what did he get? Detachment, sleepless nights and a heavy heart. He desires to go back to his golden days when he enjoyed with his siblings and didn’t have any burden to look after, got all the love from his parents.
I was in an illusion till now
45-year-old man, no parents, has 3 siblings, works in a 7-4 job.
“I have never seen how the bond of siblings actually is. They come to me always if they have some work or maybe I am someone valuable to them for certain of their purposes. They have never given me the love I deserve being the youngest. I can never imagine are all the siblings like this? If yes, then I will want to be a single child my next life. I too deserve the love, care and actual affection from them. Till my mother was alive they used to visit me that too for the sake of her. They never truly asked me how’s me, my wife and kids. They were all fake. After the demise of my mother, that too have stopped.”
Reflection: A person who has never experienced what is the love of siblings. He has always worked hard but instead of genuine care and affection; they’ve showed him their fake faces. He can’t even imagine it and wants to be a single child or a person with genuine siblings in his next life.
I am totally useless
29-year-old man, 2 younger sisters, jobless.
“Now it’s about 5 years since I have been receiving so much from my parents, relatives and now even friends. I have received a degree at the age of 22 in mechanical engineering. After that I started for job hunt and in this growing world, they don’t need mechanical engineers anymore. And even if they want, they are paying so less that not even my family’s basic needs would be fulfilled. So, I refused for those jobs and searched everywhere both online and offline but I end up getting a job which was paying the most as compared to the previous jobs. It was a stipend of 35000/- only. They made me work a lot for 12 hours and at the end the private company didn’t have any provision of leaves or occasional holidays. They didn’t give bonus and the working conditions were really the worst. So, after continuing for half a month, I left. They didn’t give me a penny for my half month. Now I’ve nothing to do. My father is a farmer and our house runs on his money. His health conditions are getting worse and I don’t know a word in Agriculture. I am totally clueless at this point. My sisters are to be married. I don’t want to live now.”
Refection: It’s not about the age but the emotional maturity that grows a person. He’s not able to tackle things and found himself in a state of downfall. He is surrounded by a lot of responsibilities yet he can’t contribute in any of them.
LOVE & LOST CONNECTIONS
I can’t marry her
27-year-old man, 50 Lakhs per Annum, single child
“I was in my first year of college when I realised either Love or Work. I don’t know how people manage both the things together. Though it is correct that when you have a right partner by your side, you can achieve anything, but it wasn’t true in my case. Whoever I talk too created a distraction and I can’t stop my mind thinking about those moments that created a distance between me and my academics. From thereafter my journey towards my studies, work and passion began. I was isolated in fact from my friends. The day I graduated; it took me less than a month to find myself a high paying job. Everything was going smooth when suddenly my parents wanted me to get marry. I don’t want to marry. I have built my career and want to travel and fulfil my dreams. How do I explain them that I don’t want to be bound in a relationship?”
Reflection: A person earning well has never seen the real joys of life just to build his career and get himself at some position. After achieving it all he wanted some time for himself when his parents started telling him to get married. He has certain dreams to fulfil and live an independent life and enjoy things which he was devoid of for many years.
I found my forever at 15
26-year-old man, 30 Lakhs per Annum, has an elder brother
“I was in my first day in the new school when I shifted at the age of 15 in grade X. I was a very shy person yet dealing with a lot to myself. There’s when I saw her. It felt like she was so similar to me. A quiet girl who was not new but still she remained without a lot of friends. She never seemed happy and I who was neither happy myself wanted to get to know her. Things worked out and by the end of grade X, we were best of friends. In grade XI we took the same stream of PCM and wanted to graduate together. But I was selected in IIT Delhi and she went abroad to pursue her dreams. Things were hard when we couldn’t even talk for 10-10 days just because we were so much into our own life. But whenever she came to India, she used to meet me first before anyone else and I too remained in that quite relationship which was more of connected through our respect and tendency to understand each other more. After graduation she got a job in the U.S and I got in Noida. We both are earning well and want to start our lives together. Though she was a huge part of my life since 15 but we made it official last month.
Lonely in a vast group
29-year-old businessman, well settled, 3 siblings
“Sometimes life feels so surreal. Things get complicated and that time you require someone to make you feel well and things doable that were already chaos in your mind. I have done things in my life which I feel are enough to make myself satisfied. But the only thing I lack in is a partner with whom I can share a piece of myself for the better future. I have a lot of friends and many of them are girls, but honestly enjoying, partying and other things are good until they cross a limit. At the end you need someone who can support you emotionally when you break sometimes may it be due to family issues or work related. I see my friends who are so happy with their partners and advise me too for the same. They run towards their partners when they feel low and so do their partners. They enjoy together, spend quality time and soon become so much emotionally mature. I wish I find someone soon.”
Reflection: Sometimes people want a company to them so that they can feel zero pressure or burden that they had been carrying all their day. A partner who understands them well, makes them feel comfortable and is standing with them at their highs and lows. In this generation, it’s difficult to find one but once you find you’ll be so much happier than before.
THE LAST STAGE
Lost in the worst stage
65-year-old, retired, 5 children and a wife
“I have got everything in my life, a high paying job, the best wife and children and a peaceful life. But what was the point? I have lost my 2 children in the gap of 3 months. At this stage of life when people relax and see their children growing and doing well in their lives, what exactly I did was to see my sons’ getting burn in front of myself. I have no purpose to live now. Suddenly from a family of 7 with happy faces turned into a family of 5. It left us all in deep pain and grief. Now at this stage I am suffering the most. In my past I’ve lived all my life with a smile on my face, didn’t even know what the actual pain is. Now I have to be strong for my wife and children but at the bottom of my heart, I’ve lost all hopes and is passing each day with a lot of pain and a heavy heart.”
Reflection: At a stage where you’ve stopped working physically and is to be served of what you’ve done all your life, this person had gathered a bag of grief when he wasn’t ready. Lost his 2 sons within a gap of 3 month made him emotionally and physically as he was weak. Things have no meaning now and he has lost all his hope. He’s now carrying the heaviest heart full of grief and has to support his 3 children and a wife.
Served my all life for this
78-year-old, retired, 2 children and a wife
“I have worked my all life as a construction labourer and earned a wage of 500/- daily. My highest wage of a day was 800/- I’ve never seen good clothes and unable to give even a small gift to my wife. But she was always satisfied, she used to tell me “I’ll go with what I have just make our kids educated and spend on their education” I was too in the favour of her decision. I worked day and night to work for their fees and I was the happiest when my elder son told me he got a job as a software engineer. My younger son too is now a manager in a really big company. I’ve never dreamed of becoming even a sweeper there. Today I feel I have done sufficient and my efforts are worth it. I am the proudest dad today and my wife, she’s the proudest mother.”
Reflection: What parents do in their lives is just for the sake of their children. They never truly live their life in a hope to get a beautiful life to their children. And when children understand their sacrifices and live up to their expectations they are well raised. Parents are the happiest when their children are doing well in their lives.
Alone at this lonely stage
63-year-old, retired, 3 children and no wife
“People say right about old age, it’s where you are the loneliest person. You can’t do anything and you feel like to talk to someone and you truly have no one may it be your children, wife or friends. My wife died 2 months ago and she was the only person with whom I was the happiest with. No doubt my children care for me and love me a lot but they themselves are busy in their lives and I don’t want to cause any sort of interference in their chaotic and busy lives. My grandkids are in the school and they are into their studies, coaching and homework. When they get time, they visit me in my room but that’s not more often. Everyday I feel a sort of dependency for my emotional happiness. But I have no option”
Reflection: In the Old age, people find themselves in a corner where they are alone. Although they have a lot of people surrounding themselves but no one can understand what they feel deep inside and they too want to talk to someone about the day and different things.
Final Reflection
I was transformed by gathering these voices. I no longer consider people to be background. Everybody has a storm, a hope, or a scar, and perhaps if we all paid more attention, the world would heal more quickly.
Acknowledgments: Thank you to everyone who confided in me. This is our collection, not mine.
