Understanding a woman is like solving a puzzle with missing pieces and changing shapes. Just when you think you have it figured out, she shifts her mood, her logic, or her tone, leaving you wondering what rulebook you are supposed to be following. But within all that mystery lies the beauty of her depth, charm, and complexity.
Understanding a woman
A woman will love a man more than anything. She will accept his flaws, do things that will make him a better man, and will always be there whenever he needs her. But you lose her when she feels unappreciated, when you stop paying attention to her feelings and to the things she subtly asks you to do but you've been oblivious to, or when you give her the feeling that you don't need her as much as she needs you. A woman becomes a reflection of how you treat her. What makes a woman beautiful is a man who can treat her right.
The Art of Listening and Empathy
Women need what they are saying to be understood. When you are conversing, asking her questions and digging deeper into what she is talking about is a true way to show her that you are interested in her and that she is important to you. Don’t spend the whole conversation planning what you are going to say next. Make an effort to listen and make sense of what she is saying. Put yourself in her shoes and try to understand the challenges she faces, try to imagine yourself in her circumstances, and ask yourself what you would think and feel in the same situation. Don’t try to fix or give unwanted advice. If she says something that fires up your nervous system, do not throw a tit-for-tat response; instead, just be quiet.
Avoid Assumptions and Recognize Individuality
Avoid making assumptions about her. When you are getting to know a woman, start by letting go of any assumptions about what she is thinking or feeling. Give her the benefit of the doubt and don’t jump to the conclusion that you know anything and everything about her life, preferences, or core beliefs. Never assume; just dig deeper until you comprehend what she’s thinking or feeling.
Recognize that she is an individual. Remember, every woman is a unique person, just like you. She has her own life story, circumstances, struggles, and experiences that have shaped who she is. As you get to know her, try thinking of her as a person first before looking at her gender or any preconceived notions of what a woman “should” be like. Educate yourself about the unique issues women face. If a woman complains about the challenges and frustrations of being female, resist the urge to get defensive or dismissive. Keep an open mind and try to see things from her perspective.
Attention and Emotional Needs
Most women won't fall for expensive gifts. You don’t have to be fully focused on her, but give her your attention when you are spending quality time together. They don't want attention 24/7—365 days, but a few good texts would do. Listen to what she has to say. Women are emotionally wired; they like being pampered. Just call her princess once and she will make you her real prince.
Navigating Conflict
Avoid making accusations or jumping to conclusions during arguments. If a woman does something you don’t understand or don’t agree with, don’t rush to complain or make accusations. This will put her on the defensive and will make it harder for you to see her perspective and resolve the situation. Instead, communicate with her about how you feel and calmly and respectfully ask her to explain her behavior. Make sure to really pay attention to her answer. Apologize genuinely when you make a mistake. Forgive her when she’s wrong, too. It lets her know that even though she messed up, you still trust her.
Overthinking and Emotional Connection
As a woman, overthinking is her greatest enemy; she tends to see little things and then overthink, creating her own insecurities. I think the only solution that a man can do here is tell her that there is nothing to be worried about. It means a lot to a woman if you are the one who is initiating to resolve a problem.
Women can give themselves entirely to each thing they do, whether it be a career, family, a life partner, or all of the above, making it appear effortless, and therein lies most of the mystery. She expects you to know what she wants without her saying it out loud. She wants a prince, but also someone who lets her be the queen. She wants honesty, but also wants to hear what makes her feel good. She wants you to listen, remember, act, and repeat. She expects you to react emotionally, but sensibly. She wants attention when she’s ignoring you. She expects you to agree, even when she changes her mind mid-sentence. She doesn’t want to be told what to do, but also wants your opinion first. She expects you to be strong but melt at her tears. Some women will talk about their issues out loud, others like to be alone to process them. Men can have a bad day at work, come home, and still enjoy the evening with their families. However, women are a bit different. If she had a bad day at work, she takes it home with her. She is emotionally connected, and so for her to simply “get over” an issue isn’t as easy as it is for you. She wishes to be treated as an individual with respect and not necessarily as a woman for who or what she is.
The Complexity of Her Mind and Mood
Women are too fragile and sensitive. Due to their mood swings, they sometimes get angry for no reason, which is weird. A man’s role is to understand and handle them with care and love. But a woman is not easy to love. Loving her means you get to see her flaws and imperfections, but not letting her know where she is wrong. To want to understand a woman and her moods, I agree, is baffling, at times or sometimes or most of the times or all the times.
If a man looks at a woman, she thinks “oh, look at that dog staring at me.” If he doesn’t, she thinks “oh, that Thakela dog… not even looking at me.” Now what should the dog do?
A woman’s mind is a very complex organism. She overthinks so much that she even overthinks about how much she overthinks. She gets anxious about everything and everyone all the time. Her brain is like a browser with 27 tabs open. She can turn a simple “hello” into a 20-chapter novel. The problem is a woman’s brain is continuously working; they never stop thinking. She thinks about love and hate, children, family, near and far, dead and alive, politics, weather, food, insurance, money, water, books, religion, her neighbors and she as a neighbor, health, furniture, clothing, weight, looks, dogs, cockroaches, mosquitos, makkis, cats, snakes, other animals, more, less, God, universe, future, present, past, negatives, positives, bed and the bedsheet, tables, chairs, building, floor, temple, agarbattis, coconuts, garlands, pen, pencils, spectacles, calendar, wrist watches, wall clock, computer, laptop, doctors, medicines in liquid as well as tablets, injections, surgery, all parts of the body, school, college, vehicles, bus, cars, trains, bullock carts, cycles, motorbikes, sarees, skirts, blouses, jeans, heels, shoes, chapalls, decibels of the pressure cooker, length, breadth, height, thickness of the vegetables in the “Sambhar,” the number of mustard seeds in the “Chutney,” and so on…
A woman’s mood can change faster than the speed of light and still leave you in the dark. Even the weather channel cannot predict her mood swings. Understanding her moods requires a PhD in patience. Even God has given up! In fact, her bad mood can be triggered by a dream she had three years back or by something you spoke to her 10 years back on a Tuesday in the evening at 6:12 pm under the neem tree sitting on the bench at Jogger’s Park, which is located 2 kms from the Hanuman temple, just opposite Canara Bank, near Domino’s pizza, where you get the best Cheese Pizzas, and on that particular day, there was a 10% discount on each Cheese Pizza. Trying to understand her mood is like decoding a secret language with no vowels. You need both emotional intelligence and divine intervention to survive and, maybe, if possible, decrypt her moods. She’s sweet as sugar one minute, spicy as chili the next. She can go from happy to mad to sad to emotional to anger to frustration in one conversation and expect you to follow along. One moment she wants space, the next she wants a hug that lasts forever.
She says she’s not angry, but somehow you always end up apologizing anyway.
When she says she’s okay, she is absolutely not okay, and when she says she is not okay, she is actually okay, BUT feeling not okay. (whatever that means)
You forget her birthday and then it is your “Maut.” You are dead. However much you apologize or however costly gifts you give her just to cover up the “SIN” you did, she will still remember that day even after 20 years. You will be made to feel guilty over how you forgot her special day in every fight/chat, and that fateful day will be engraved in each and every part of your body forever. However weird she dresses up, no matter how odd or unconventional her style or her strange and unusual outfits may be, you have to compliment her beauty and fashion sense. Else, again it is your “Maut.” She will either give you a lecture on you being unstylish, unfashionable, or lacking an understanding of current styles, or she will give you a fashion show showcasing all her clothing and/or accessories till you admit that she looks mind-blowingly beautiful.
Even if you are silent and you didn’t say anything, somehow you still said the wrong thing which no one heard but she heard.
If she is upset with you and slams the door, you should worry. But if she closes the door gently, then also you should still worry.
Her smile could melt your heart, but her glare could freeze your soul.
The Shopping Phenomenon
Being with her is like solving a mystery. You are sure you have cracked it, but actually, you are only going deeper and deeper, and then you realize, you are back to where you started. She connects dots that only she can see, and you better agree. She doesn't need evidence. Her gut feeling is the final verdict.
Her window shopping actually crashes the browser. When she says she is only browsing, it is a caution and not a promise. She may claim she is only browsing, but actually, it is a warning sign for your credit card to have a breakdown. She will shop for a toothpaste and come back with a new wardrobe. She will claim that she does not spend money, but she is investing in only happiness. She can sniff out a sale from six towns away. You may think her closet is full, but she is so sharp that she will find space in your storeroom too. Her idea of budgeting is saving money on one item so that she can buy five more. Her shopping list includes things she didn’t know she needed until she saw them. Shopping is her cardio, her meditation, and her joy all rolled into one. She always finds a reason to reward herself for doing absolutely nothing. Her fashion choices are seasonal, emotional, and occasionally, financial emergencies.
Arguments and Logic
She is a gender who doesn’t understand herself but then doesn’t need to be studied either. Just keep learning and unlearning and relearning. It's a cyclical journey to understand a woman.
Always and only argue with a woman to help her win. Women win all battles. Even if she is losing, just make her believe she is right and winning. The greatest question that has never ever been answered and which no man in the world has ever been able to answer is “What does a woman want?” She knows everything and everyone from the sun to the moon to the earth to the to-be-born to the ones who are dead. She will never let you finish your sentence and start giving you suggestions when you don't need them. She will always try to complete your sentences before you even finish saying something. Sometimes, she does not want you to argue with her in the future, so she intentionally makes arguing difficult. This lets her get away with a lot and lets her get her way. Arguing with women is never logical; it's always emotional. No matter what you do, you'll never win, because there are no rules. Even if you manage to get your point across and it's valid and correct, guess what? She starts crying!!! If the crying doesn’t work, she will bring up something from 10 years back that has nothing to do with the current argument. You can't win an argument with a woman. She will just say something else that makes no sense to you or herself.
When she says she doesn't like it, find another way of presenting the same thing to her. She will like it. She actually likes what she says she doesn’t like, but she doesn’t want to let you know that she likes it so that it doesn’t appear as though a man is doing her a favor. It is more fun when she pretends she doesn’t like it.
When she says "leave me," she doesn’t mean it. If she gives you a reply like "I'm fine," there is more to that 'I'm fine'. She doesn’t even understand herself sometimes. In women, NO could mean YES and YES could mean NO. Sometimes, she means YES-NO or NO-YES {whatever that means}. You ask her a “yes” or “no” question and you won’t even know that you are in a three-hour discussion with her.
Her logic is based on feelings you haven’t caused yet. When she says she doesn’t want it again sometimes, it means she wants more. In fact, she is unpredictable. She says she is fine but expects you to know what she is really feeling without asking. She makes decisions based on her feelings, intuition, and what her best friend said last month on a Wednesday at 9:11 am. When your thought is over, that is when she starts. Women are new every morning. When she says stop, it means don’t stop, and when she says don’t stop, she means don’t stop, but still stop and then don’t stop. {whatever that means}
When she asks what you are thinking, you better answer right or prepare for cross-examination. Her logic evolves as the conversation continues. She can win arguments with facts, feelings, and your previous mistakes. You may think it made no sense, but somehow it was still your fault. Her version of common sense is uncommon to everyone else. Her inner monologue includes a full courtroom trial. She debates with herself and still manages to blame you. Her logic is not illogical, but illogically, it is logic. {whatever it means}
The Power of Silence
Her silence speaks louder than your entire vocabulary. When she’s quiet, it’s either peace or the beginning of emotional warfare. You can hear the tension in her silence louder than a fire alarm. She doesn’t raise her voice; she lowers it to zero and raises your anxiety, heart-beat, blood pressure, and peace of mind. Silence is her ultimate power move. You thought she was giving you space but actually she was giving you clues. She wins the argument by saying nothing at all. Her silence has the weight of a thousand unsent text messages. She can communicate with one eyebrow and zero words. When she’s quiet, it’s a strategic pause, not a break. Her silence feels like an assessment you didn’t study for. You may start talking to fill the silence and then confess things she didn’t know. She doesn’t need to yell; her silence is nuclear-powered. The more silent she is, the more you should worry. Her silence is not forgiveness, it’s a countdown. You feel like a suspect in a mystery you didn’t know you were part of. You’re not sure if she’s calm or planning a comeback. When she stops arguing, start praying.
Final Thoughts
Men will never understand a woman and vice versa. They are both oil and water. An equal level can never be maintained, as one will always excel where the other doesn't. I agree, women may be hard to understand, but that’s exactly what makes them unforgettable. To understand a woman, you need to get inside her head and not between her legs. Just love her honestly because a woman cannot be understood mentally; she has to be understood emotionally. Protect her and her heart… you will always be glad you did.
You don’t truly understand a woman until and unless you understand every word she isn’t saying to you. Sometimes, her silence speaks louder than any words ever could.
