Life is a story with many phases, and one phase of our life is called childhood. As a child, we were innocent, our souls were pure, our smiles and laughter were true. We never had responsibilities and the fear of our future. We had our parents as our backbone. We were seen, but not heard. We were taught to respect our elders and do what we were told. We didn’t dare to talk back or question things. We got smacked if we misbehaved. Our Parents didn’t pamper us, and we too didn’t think we had any “rights”. We just did what we were told because we thought parents had eyes in the back of their heads and that they would always find out about us. Though we never loved it, but then, we didn’t complain about it either. We just assumed this was the way that it was. We were taught to respect our elders. We never confessed all our deepest feelings to our parents. It was understood.
Parents usually skipped the Birds and Bees and puberty talk, assuming we would work it out on our own sooner or later. We assumed our parents loved us because they put a roof over our heads and kept us fed, as opposed to indulging us with a million presents. If we had a fight with our friends, our parents didn’t try to solve it. They probably didn’t even know what was going on. They assumed we were totally capable of working it out on our own. Our parents never rushed to the shops to buy us any of the things that were new on the market. We were used to hearing NO and going without it. We didn’t have an ATM, debit or credit cards. All we did was adjust with whatever money our middle-class family had and could afford and spend on us.
Kids, of course, walked to school or caught a bus. Our parents didn’t check out or investigate a dozen schools first to see which had the best academic achievement and results. Instead, they sent us to whatever was the nearest one. Parents never complained about the discipline system at school or report cards. Parents didn’t even know what our homework was, when an assignment was due, nor did they force us to study. They expected that we would do it on our own. If we did a minor naughty thing, the teacher made us face the wall in the corner of the classroom. There were no digital distractions that could harm our creativity. We made our toys from scraps or played with simple items found around the house.
I think those were the best days of our lives. Often, it is heard from many that they want to go back to their childhood days. In fact, we all want to do that. Childhood is that stage of life where we can enjoy the part of life that we cannot get back, however much we want.
When I think about my childhood, many memories flash into my mind. Ahh…. those were the days I wish I could enjoy them again, the time I could stop and be there again. Some of the favourite memories of my childhood were:
- Visiting my Nani’s (maternal grandmother) house during the summer vacations and going for a walk with her
- Eating mangoes directly plucked from the tree without washing them, or Peru [Guava] with chilly powder and salt.
- We were encouraged to go outside and play after school in the streets. Thus, expected to be home in time for dinner. We wouldn’t wear watches. So, the moment the sun went down and street lights came on — that was our signal that our outside playtime was over. We had no mobiles then, and hence no distractions. We never cared about our clothes being dirty while playing in mud or getting sweaty, or getting tanned. We played Phugadi, Kho-Kho, land and water, Lagori, Kancha-Marble, Kabaddi, Dog and Bone. Gilli danda, Chor sipahi, Four corners, langdi, Aankh Micholi, whereas our indoor games were carrom, snake and ladder and ludo. The only tension was that holidays are ending soon, and vacation homework is yet to be completed. Alas, today, the same play time has become tuition timings.
- We didn’t have Amazon Prime or Netflix, or Jio. All we watched were Doordarshan serials such as Shakalaka boom boom, Shaktimaan, Buniyaad, Hum Log, Fauji, Surbhi, Nukkad, Ramayan, Dekh Bhai Dekh, Karamchand, Malgudi days, Byomkesh Bakshi, Udaan, Chandrakanta, Chanakya, Rangoli, Tenali Ram, Circus, Chitrahaar, Wagle ki duniya, Mahabharat, Rajani, Vikram aur betaal, etc.
- English speaking was not compulsory, then. We didn’t have the fear of being judged by others. We made friends without judging or knowing about anyone’s family or background.
- On birthdays, our best school friend used to accompany us to distribute chocolates to other teachers. We had the liberty to talk during the free hour if the class monitor was our friend. We ate our lunch boxes before recess in school, hiding under the tables away from the prying eyes of our teachers. We used to work on chart paper, rather than slides.
- Eating chocolates was fun without worrying about gaining weight, or even if the chocolate from our mouth drips down, we weren’t bothered by who was looking or not.
- Life was at peace without Facebook, WhatsApp, Instagram and Twitter. Our only followers were our best friends who stood by us through thick and thin, irrespective of whatever status we had.
- Visits to the doctors were rare, and Amma’s home-made Kadha did the magical trick.
- We used to give missed calls on the landline for passing information, like if 2 missed calls, then start from your place.
- Eating out at a restaurant was a rarity, especially on a birthday or passing final exams with good marks. We visited the local shops for our groceries. I still recollect that the jeera goli, white milk goli, and mint goli used to cost just a couple of paisa.
- Anything served on the food plate used to or rather had to go to the mouth, regardless of whether you liked the taste, and if any leftovers on the plate, Amma used to hand feed us, narrating mythological stories, and we never actually realised when we finished the complete food plate.
- Music was played only on magnetic tapes or the radio. In those days, having a Walkman was a luxury.
- No brands were followed. Whatever we wore was the best.
- Regardless of anything, our dinner time would be 7.30 pm and bedtime by 9.30 pm. Leaving the house in the morning without eating breakfast was completely banned by Dad.
- We called our friends from home, shouting their names from the streets below.
- We gave respect to everyone, our parents, our elders, including the watchman, teachers, doctors, police, etc. We never backed answered or gave a cheeky response. We learnt what is right and wrong, how to show love, how to have empathy and all of the basic beliefs that govern our lives, including saying “please” and “thank you”, religious beliefs and cultural norms.
- In our free time, we read comics such as Indrajal, Tinkle, Champak, Amar Chitra Katha, Chandamama, Chacha Choudhary, Akbar Birbal, Tenali Ram, etc
- Some advertisements will always be a part of our childhood memories, such as Amul Doodh Pita Hai India,” or “Cadbury - Kuch Meetha Ho Jaye”, or “Surf – Lalitaji" or ”Liril - The 'la-la-la-lara-la…la-la-la” jingle, or “Vicks ki goli lo, khich khich door karo” or “Hamara Bajaj" or “I love you Rasna”, and so on..
- We got to know all the neighbours. All of them were our extended family. Then, life was marked by simplicity with a strong sense of community and unity in the neighbourhood. Everyone knew each other, and parents felt comfortable letting their children roam freely. Neighbours would look out for one another, creating a safety net that allowed us to explore our surroundings without fear.
- Our entire family shared one computer, which usually resulted in many fights between siblings over who got to use it when.
- We had Pen pals, handwritten letters, and postcards were a way to connect with people from other places and learn about different cultures.
We were free from all the worries, hazards of a busy life and stresses in this world of uncertainty and enjoying our life to the fullest. Today, our lives are fully dependent on time. The child in us has disappeared somewhere. We have become like robots, running after money, having our choices and freedom. However, everything is controlled by self-imposed dos and don’ts. We have to ensure that there is food on the tables, a roof above our heads, our kids’ school fees are paid, and office targets and deadlines are consistently met or not. Our loved and dear ones are properly taken care of, etc.
As a child, we could ask many questions to anyone and at any time without the fear of being judged, but today, we keep all our questions within us and wait for the correct place and time to ask. As children, we found happiness in the simplest of things, but today, we can’t recollect when we smile truly for ourselves, and even if we did, it was only a fake smile hiding our pain to show our loved ones that all is well. Behind that smile, lies exhaustion, regrets, disappointment, never-ending worries, tears, sorrows, late-night thoughts, heartbreaks, and pain. Somewhere, today, we are still struggling to keep ourselves happy.
As a child, the only thing we were worried about was if we had enough time to play and what toy to play with next, but today we are only worried about earning money, balancing family, work and maintaining relationships. As a child, the hardest decision was choosing between chocolate or vanilla ice cream, but today it revolves around family dynamics, career transitions, personal well-being, desires, societal expectations and responsibilities.
As a child, we believed that anything was possible, but today, feelings of powerlessness, helplessness. Isolation and the inability to cope with uncertainty make everything seem impossible. Sometimes, I wish I could escape from everyone and everything, from my inner fears, uncertainties, unspoken feelings, umpteen explanations, unsaid anger, silent struggles, illogical desperations, uncontrollable desires to the world of my childhood back again WHEREIN…
Irrespective of Who I am? What am I? How am I? Where am I?
Everyone loved me then.…….. I want to be a child again
